1. What? Friends listen to "Endless Love" in the dark. HAPPY GILMORE
2. Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on. BLOW
3. We got a human penis right there by the curb. Somebody's gotta be looking for that. 11:14
5. Ohh, wow, not so good. I lost my schedule at the beginning of the semester, and couldn't find my classes for like a month and a half. I end up getting three D's and an F, I mean, it's not that bad. considering I passed. HAGGARD
6. How many pots have you smoken? 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN
10. I used to like to play with my Ken and Barbie dolls. Ken was my favorite. Then one Christmas I got them a camper and all they wanted to do was hang out in it by themselves. So I wasn't too upset when they took that wrong turn and went over the cliff.
MY GIRL
11. He isn't my gift to you, he's your son. RAY
15. I'm sorry, but, could I get another one? I... uh... signed the wrong name.
GHOST
16. I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they? THE WIZARD OF OZ
17.I guess when you combine mass quantities of cough syrup with yodels... you get acid. CLICK